We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
