oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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