i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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