So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
