Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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