I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
