Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
