oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
