whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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