We won't sleep together?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
