How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
