I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
