"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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