you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
