Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
