i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
