can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize