I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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