I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
