ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
