Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
