you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize