so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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