I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
