Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize