**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
