The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
