If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
