On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize