i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
