I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize