"it" just moved
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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