You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
