his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i would one night stand the shit outta him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
