If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize