the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
