3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
