Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
