so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
