Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
