Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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