Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Houston, we have a blender
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
