she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
