so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
