Got a toothbrush?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
