Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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