Your face is a jimmy john
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
