Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
