At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
