Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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