i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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