i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
