If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My ATM looks so different sober.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Randomize
