I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
