you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
