I queefed so loud it echoed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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