The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
