i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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