Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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