Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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