Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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