hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize