He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
