I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
