ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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