We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
