take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
