he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
