there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
