She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
