I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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