Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm passing your future prison.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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