Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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