I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
