So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
